Bitches and moldy cheese

So isn’t it always the case when you decide to bite off more than you can chew that everything goes wonky? Yesterday my aunt was quarantined in her house with the stomach flu and asked if I could pick up dinner for her and her equally quarantined husband. Of course I agreed because it really would be my pleasure to do them a solid.
I was on my way to pick up Jack from school and then headed to the grocery store and since I have the time management skills of a five year old I was on a mental loop. Jack….store….home. Jack…..store….home. Jack…..store…..home.
This new task changed my mental rhythm. Jack…..food….store….home. Jack…..food…..store…..home. It took me a minute to find the beat, but still manageable.
Then I remember that I had to return a stepladder that I borrowed to a lady down the street and I told her that I would drop it off after work…SHIT!
Jack….food….store….stepladder……home.
Then my aunt calls to tell me that she needs Lysol to disinfect her house and would I mind getting some on while I was at the store?
Jack…..food …..store….Julie…..stepladder…..home.
Then my uncle calls and asks if I would like to go to the rodeo.
Jack…..RODEO!!! ….home
Starting to sound like a viable option, but I press on to my appointed task.
So I get to Jack’s school and this C U next Tuesday is waiting for her son and or daughter to get out of practice she decides that instead of parking in a parking spot that she will park diagonal to the end of two spots. The parking lot isn’t all together that big and without drawing you a diagram I will just say that it’s an extremely bitchy thing to do and limits where I can park and increases the distance that I have to walk. So I pulled up behind her and gave a polite little honk “getoutofmywaypleasebitch” But what does she do? She ignores me. I am so pissed at this moment, but decide it’s still not worth it to get out of my car and deck her in the face so I park at a spot further away.
I pick up Jack and when I get back to my car the idiot has a following. Another woman has parked behind her and LEFT her car. Almost completely blocking me into my spot. So I have to perform an 18 ½ point turn to get out of this spot still trying to keep my composure because afterall Jack will be going to this school for many years and I don't want to be THAT mom. I am still boiling mad on the inside and giving disapproving looks to this woman so what do I do? I back into a dumpster.
So now on top of everything else I look like a complete angry moron. I get out to inspect the damage which not only did anyone watching just see me make my 18 ½ point turn narrowly miss hitting this other car. They have seen me with plenty of room to pull forward, STILL hit the dumpster. Oh and I’m still mad. So I get out of my car and instead of saying anything I stare at the woman who I have decided is responsible for me not knowing how to put my car in drive and get this… I shake my head….That’ll show her.
So my car was fine, but I as I sit here writing am reminded why my back hurts.
I get out the parking lot as fast as humanly possible without looking any more like an idiot than I already do and pick up the food, drop it off, head to the grocery store.
By the way, I am an absolute SUCKER for pre-packaged specialty items. If it’s a little snacky gourmet treat you better believe I putting it in my belly. So as I am heading to check out I see this container of garlic and dill cheese cubes. Yum yum get ya some. So what they are $6 I love dill!
By the time I get finished and wrap up my errands it was a little late to get the stepladder delivered, so I blew it off. Well, all I gotta say is karma is a bitch. I don’t know if it was the stepladder or my unrequited anger at soccer mom, but I got mine.
I FINALLY sit down at about 8:30 last night and I tear into my package of cheese. I start mindlessly eating and I look down about half way through and it’s COVERED with green fuzzy mold. So NASTY! How much of it did I eat before I noticed. Egh I am still grossed out at the thought of it. So today my back hurts, my stomach definitely hurts, and you best believe I am taking that $6 cheese back to Kroger.
So what did I learn from all this? I should've just decked the bitch.