So I am increasingly more impressed with how companies choose to spend their marketing dollars.
I have noticed a lot more establishments decorating Ye Olde work truck to get the word out.
I’m not talking Aunt Dot’s daycare with the magnetic sticker on the van door that Paw Paw can remove when he takes the van to go fishing on the weekends.
I’m talking Monster truck type shit. Lots of colors and graphics, but without the actual Monster truck. In this case it was a very harmless van...
I roll up on this van in traffic and the back door has this huge picture of a bathtub and all you see is a woman’s leg resting in bubbles. Calgon take me away!
Then I drove around to the side of the van and a guy, with covers over his shoes and a wrench in his hand, is standing in a fine ass kitchen. In all honesty it made me think of that episode of Kendra (you’re on your own now) at the wedding rehearsal and everyone had to put those covers on their shoes to walk down the aisle.
What’s with the wrench, covered feet guy? So I read the large lettering next to him “Village plumbing and appliances”. 'Is covered feet guy the owner or something?' I look on…. On the other side of the lettering is an extremely red-headed woman and an extremely red-headed step child mini-me version of her standing on top of the marble topped island in the fine ass kitchen. Mini-me has a wrench in her hand, but “mom” does not. They are wearing overalls with bright red shirts and bright red shoes (mini’s shoes are ruby red-sequined), but no feet covers. ‘well that doesn’t seem fair’ I’m thinking as I have now slowed down in my lane to keep pace with this van and take in this whole scene played out on the side of the van. ‘Why does covered feet guy have to have his feet covered? And overall lady and steppie the red over there get out of it? I don’t get it’
So I am building this story in my mind of what the dynamic of these people are as I am driving. I don’t know how more wrecks don’t happen with these decorated trucks because I was studying this van which let me tell you made it difficult to concentrate on the road. Road Schmoad.
So covered feet guy is the owner, I know I am so chauvinistic, and then overall and little step are his loving wife and daughter. Overall was the type in college to break all the rules and that’s why he fell in love with her, and that’s why her feet aren’t covered because that women’s libber little scamp still breaks the rules to this day. (And between you and I... needs to have the fashion police called).
But that wasn’t it. I look below the Village plumber sign and I see a name. My very first thought is ‘cool I’m going to find out what covered feet guy’s name is’. What the hell kind of society do we live in that even though the name is clearly in front of overalls that I think HE’s the owner.
I read the name, Monica Ryan, master plumber and OWNER. ‘That’s weird you don’t hear of many men named Monica’... It’s still not clicking in my head that SHE is the owner.
So I take a minute to accept that reality and replace the one I have created with this new revelation. I got a little emotional, you know??? Because change is hard for me…. *sniff*. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…
‘So women can be plumbers too????’ My mind was totally blown. ‘Well, I’m not going to be a plumber; I don’t want to crawl around underneath nasty, stinking, houses. I don’t care how much they pay me. And is her daughter going to follow after her? That’s tragic. That’s man’s work…’ In five seconds in traffic I had just set the women’s lib movement back at least 60 years.
So then my story begins to transform into something new… Monica Ryan hates straight men and caters to gay men with her plumbing services. So Monica was married and divorced in 1998. You can always tell how long a single woman has been single by their haircut. The first thing any newly single woman does is cut her hair and this hairstyle hadn’t changed since AT LEAST 1998 I am guessing closer to 1994 or 95. So girl’s been single for a while. Around that time she wound up prego with steppie and was taken in by a colony of gay men that taught her everything they know about plumbing.
I have noticed a lot more establishments decorating Ye Olde work truck to get the word out.
I’m not talking Aunt Dot’s daycare with the magnetic sticker on the van door that Paw Paw can remove when he takes the van to go fishing on the weekends.
I’m talking Monster truck type shit. Lots of colors and graphics, but without the actual Monster truck. In this case it was a very harmless van...
I roll up on this van in traffic and the back door has this huge picture of a bathtub and all you see is a woman’s leg resting in bubbles. Calgon take me away!
Then I drove around to the side of the van and a guy, with covers over his shoes and a wrench in his hand, is standing in a fine ass kitchen. In all honesty it made me think of that episode of Kendra (you’re on your own now) at the wedding rehearsal and everyone had to put those covers on their shoes to walk down the aisle.
What’s with the wrench, covered feet guy? So I read the large lettering next to him “Village plumbing and appliances”. 'Is covered feet guy the owner or something?' I look on…. On the other side of the lettering is an extremely red-headed woman and an extremely red-headed step child mini-me version of her standing on top of the marble topped island in the fine ass kitchen. Mini-me has a wrench in her hand, but “mom” does not. They are wearing overalls with bright red shirts and bright red shoes (mini’s shoes are ruby red-sequined), but no feet covers. ‘well that doesn’t seem fair’ I’m thinking as I have now slowed down in my lane to keep pace with this van and take in this whole scene played out on the side of the van. ‘Why does covered feet guy have to have his feet covered? And overall lady and steppie the red over there get out of it? I don’t get it’
So I am building this story in my mind of what the dynamic of these people are as I am driving. I don’t know how more wrecks don’t happen with these decorated trucks because I was studying this van which let me tell you made it difficult to concentrate on the road. Road Schmoad.
So covered feet guy is the owner, I know I am so chauvinistic, and then overall and little step are his loving wife and daughter. Overall was the type in college to break all the rules and that’s why he fell in love with her, and that’s why her feet aren’t covered because that women’s libber little scamp still breaks the rules to this day. (And between you and I... needs to have the fashion police called).
But that wasn’t it. I look below the Village plumber sign and I see a name. My very first thought is ‘cool I’m going to find out what covered feet guy’s name is’. What the hell kind of society do we live in that even though the name is clearly in front of overalls that I think HE’s the owner.
I read the name, Monica Ryan, master plumber and OWNER. ‘That’s weird you don’t hear of many men named Monica’... It’s still not clicking in my head that SHE is the owner.
So I take a minute to accept that reality and replace the one I have created with this new revelation. I got a little emotional, you know??? Because change is hard for me…. *sniff*. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…
‘So women can be plumbers too????’ My mind was totally blown. ‘Well, I’m not going to be a plumber; I don’t want to crawl around underneath nasty, stinking, houses. I don’t care how much they pay me. And is her daughter going to follow after her? That’s tragic. That’s man’s work…’ In five seconds in traffic I had just set the women’s lib movement back at least 60 years.
So then my story begins to transform into something new… Monica Ryan hates straight men and caters to gay men with her plumbing services. So Monica was married and divorced in 1998. You can always tell how long a single woman has been single by their haircut. The first thing any newly single woman does is cut her hair and this hairstyle hadn’t changed since AT LEAST 1998 I am guessing closer to 1994 or 95. So girl’s been single for a while. Around that time she wound up prego with steppie and was taken in by a colony of gay men that taught her everything they know about plumbing.
All the evidence is there....
1. You have a woman lounging in a bathtub much like the scene from "Seven year itch" with Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn Monroe is a straight's man's fantasy, but a gay man's best friend, and if he happens to be a drag queen? well enough said.
2. I think the most obvious... The name of the company is "Village" plumbing and everything village is gay... The village voice, the village people.... the list goes on. Why is that? Why do gay men like the word village? or is it less of the word than a concept associated with it?
3. The man on the truck is wearing slippers, but doesn't have a name. Anonymous, submissive man comes to fix your pipes with a big wrench and won't get your floors dirty??? Sounds like gay porn to me.
4. Oh and the final piece of evidence that I think will make my case? Step's ruby slippers... ruby slippers, dorothy, the wizard of oz.... you see where I am going with this...
I have to say the advertising worked because I won't forget village plumbing. I don't necessarily think that's how the owner intended village plumbing to be remembered, but whatever works right?
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